had some great news tonight… bitter sweet, but good news… and the person I wanted to share it with was not available…  will I ever be able to have good news, or sad news, or thoughts or feelings that I do won’t want to share with him?? will that time ever come?  I hope so… and not…   I have tried to move so far from that connection… from that need… but still, it lingers.  Some things you just HAVE to share with that one special person.   and that person for me is not where I want him.  Nor will he ever be… for I can’t wish and hope for that.  It makes me sad… empty, lonely and sad… but from the actions of this recent past, I cannot hope for that… but – BUT, I can take many of the tools he has given me, entwine them into my future and present life, and make better choices.  He has affected me and will always dwell deep within my soul, and often, many times, his words of wisdom and caring seep into my being and make me think, make me stop and try and decide my next move.  I will always love him.  no doubt about that.  Destiny…  he was put here, in my life once again, to make me know, to realize, that my life is good.  that I am a worthwhile and special person.  THIS gift will never be forgotten… even if the bloom fades, the memory diminishes… this I know will always be with me… I am GOOD.  I am worthy… and again, I like myself. 

thank  you…………